The previous blog entry introduces me, from my perspective in 2011. Much has passed since until today (2014). I went through really difficult times. I learned a lot of spiritual knowledge, and started to apply it throughout those times. About a month ago, I was feeling really really out of control, but lets slow down and focus on the new purpose of these blog entries.
Nowadays, after I could start to meditate regularly, with the Spiritual Heart meditation I learned from my spiritual teacher Lincoln Gergar, my life began to open up. I will be writing about my experiences as they flow out of me, for the benefit of those who might read these entries. I won’t be spending too much time writing this blog, and I won’t try to organize the blog entry in a logical way. Rather, I will be trying to keep my attention on my Spiritual Heart, and write the blog entry this way. In this way, I believe the entry will be the best entry I could deliver at the time of the writing. Of course my ego will occasionally get in the way. Perhaps it is always there, since I don’t call myself a God-realized being yet. But still, I want to share myself, there might be some benefit to those who read.
So, what am I up to nowadays? As I said, I am out of a very difficult time. The turning point came when I decided or perhaps thought that I had enough of those times. I had kept an irregular journal of the last few months, and the journal is in another computer now and I will post it later. Basically, I was feeling almost completely out of control, or you can say that the control was in the ego. The ego, or my ego? Well, calling it my ego would identify me with it in my mind, so I will call it the ego, not with the purpose of denying my responsibility with it, but to remain aloof, detached with it. So yes, the ego was in complete control at most of the time for many days, and I was also giving effort to meditate (Spiritual Heart Meditation) when I could muster the strength.
A time came, and I decided to abandon focusing on the ego’s desires and try my best to stay connected to my heart by practicing sitting meditation and also maintaining a similar heart focus throughout the day, and through this, gradually strengthen my connection to the Higher Self and learn to live life through Divine guidance. This I learned throughout the years examining the Higher Self teachings presented by Lincoln Gergar, and also by live personal channeling sessions done by him for me.
Basically, the path is, focus on God and desire God. Focusing on God is keeping your attention on God as much as you can, it is concentrating on God. In my current experience it is the attempt to stay anchored on your heart throughout the day, increasing your effort in sitting meditation sessions and somewhat losing the focus during daily activities because of distractions but still keeping the intention to strengthen the connection even while active in daily life. The second is desire God. In my current understanding, desiring God is living God’s desires by surrendering to the guidance of your heart that you can gradually better sense owing to your efforts on cultivating meditativeness. Your Higher Self connection is growing in strength, or should I say, perhaps we are already connected and one with it, but our awareness of this connection is growing? Well.. one way or another, something is going stronger within me. And as this is happening, I can access a silent knowing intelligence that communicates to me and I can understand what I should do at times, not always being sure about where the source of my decisions come from. But I can say that when I really consciously try to stay in meditation for longer periods of time (1+ hour), I become more peaceful and decisions come more naturally, as if in a flow.
So, I arrived at the small town of Lapseki a few days ago. Our larger family have a plot of land there 9 acres and I will be using 3 acres that my mother has inherited. I am basically following my heart and nowadays I am desiring to build a small shelter, perhaps round in size, using earth-bags, and perhaps containing a dome. I have recently turned vegan (about 3 weeks). So information is coming sporadically I know, but I don’t have time to organize this information. Any follower of this information should know better and better about me as they read the blog entries, since I am only desiring to share, not to convey a certain message in each blog entry. Overall the purpose of all these entries is to document the changes in me as I follow the Higher Self path. It is not my intention to make you like me in terms of actions. In general I want to document the usefulness of the Higher Self path in terms of growth and happiness. I already have great faith in this path, so I can confidently share my experiences now because I know they will document a growth path that I can not possibly know how it will unfold. It is late, forgive my errors in English. I may not correct them later. I want to focus on growth and share this growth.