Well.. I see two distinct states:

One is where I start to focus on the Love in my heart. And the experience gradually becomes more and more joyful, peaceful, happy, or good.

One is where I focus on the desires of the subconscious mind, initially starts like an innocent desire here, then one thing leads to another.. I slowly descend into unconsciousness as I focus on the outside, not my heart.

Mental analysis can not do this justice. But it is sufficient to say that, whenever I am not choosing to focus on the Love, on the Spiritual Heart, whenever I forget this Divine Gift, it starts to kick in. The seeking starts from the subconscious mind. The spiraling out starts. It seeks and seeks, growing more desperate as time passes. It tries to fulfill desires, but the fulfillment does not satisfy, the spiral descends further into sadder/more desperate emotions. A deep sadness and inner wound is revealed as the temporary desires of the subconscious mind circulate and cannot be satiated. This wound is the gift of God. With whatever mechanism God built this system of life, the structure of the system, the architecture of the system, it ensures that we grow. We continuously get the chance to grow. Whether we are in Love or not in Love. The experience of the ‘wound’ results as the experience of being not in Love develops into a local conclusion. Hey look it screams: Your separateness feeling I am. Look how painful it is. Look at it, save yourself from the illusion, to end it. This is the alert mechanism to warn you, you are going too deep, becoming too forgetful. You are larger than this. Remember… This feeling can be temporarily suppressed through distracting activities. But as one matures, one becomes aware that the distracting activities are placebos, are just pseudo Love. Only like temporary carrots for the subconscious mind formed in the past when they were useful for the growth of the Soul. Growth happens, God beckons us to move forward in our evolution. Beckons? God creates everything including this and we are one with God.. It is happening. Last part will be confusing I know. This article cannot help you unless you help yourself while reading it. Help yourself with the Love, be the Love.

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