I now see that I need to completely drop identification with my thinking mind to reach enlightenment and practice this state until I reach enlightenment. I cannot control myself while opting to remain a person with a personality. This way my past never leaves me, I am always limited by the personality I have constructed within this lifetime. But I want to go beyond this and awaken.
My digital fast failed. Because, I wasn’t yet ready to give it all up. And when I am not giving it all up, my suffering does not stop, when I don’t live as myself all the time, when I give importance to my thoughts, they take over. The ego takes over. And then the habits that I have developed to mask or forget the suffering that I feel in this limited state, or let’s say, the habits that make a limited life tolerable for a being with infinite potential kick in. Everybody has a way to escape their suffering or mask it.
I want to go beyond the suffering. And for that, I will need to live as my true self, beyond thoughts. The formless awareness that is beyond the thinking mind. And I will need to completely devote myself to that. And withdraw my energies from the limited idea of a personal self. Expand this state until it becomes my default reality. Then I will be ready to come back and write more to share this state.
This is the teaching I will follow: http://channelhigherself.com/videos/satsang-with-the-self/mind-mastery-remove-ego-identification/