Currently who you think you are is a construct of thoughts. But in reality, you are the awareness that is the container of everything, including your thoughts, your emotions and your body. You are trying to stop the thoughts by staying identified with some other thoughts, all the while focusing your awareness to thoughts. This is continuously energizing them and keeping their momentum on. The first step I suggest is to start educating yourself about who we truly are and start practicing meditation 5–20 minutes a day. The education won’t do much to stop your thoughts (Clarification: Conceptual education won’t do much to stop your thoughts). Practicing meditation though will introduce you to the state of being aware of the awareness that you are, and you will learn how to withdraw your attention from the thought region of the brain and you will gain understanding about how peace is created within the mind along with other important insights.
Study this article to educate yourself and start a meditation practice. It is pretty lengthy and may take some weeks to study until you gain conceptual knowledge to start a meditation practice. (Update: It doesn’t just contain conceptual knowledge, the very way the videos are created are also preparing you and supporting you in cultivating this state) Keep at this practice, as much as you desire, and daily, as best as you can. All the focus you are putting into this will result in your spiritual growth. You will understand what awareness is, and gain insights as who you truly are at the deepest level. You will understand that you are not a thought structure in your mind. You will begin to understand that you are not and reality is not the story you are hearing in the frontal region of your brain.
At some time study this video carefully too. It explains how the mind works, and you will further begin to understand the wisdom of never fighting with your thoughts, but instead learning to direct your awareness within, deeper than thoughts, not being in rejection of the world, but creating a process of awakening. OCD (or the state you described that is similar to it) has been created by you in your ignorance as a resultant process of all your choices, and you are hearing one of its expressions in your thinking mind. When you begin to remove your ignorance and gain the knowledge of not empowering the thoughts when you don’t want to and still be able to live from within with your inner intelligence, then it will be a simple practice of what you have learned to become free of OCD. (I want to add that it is really OK to have ignorance, it is OK to not know who you truly are, there is an evolution process going on in this universe and it is OK to be participating in any point of it. The important thing is you as your true self have the ability to remove your ignorance, and you can awaken to this.)
Also explore , use the search box for any questions you may additionally have.
I have written a really summarized answer for you. But to fully apply this answer, much work is needed, but I assure you, all the steps you take if you truly, sincerely wish to learn will result in rapid growth.
Nobody other than you can evolve you from this situation because you yourself are creating it, and you are not even aware of who you truly are yet, and you are unknowingly empowering the very situation you wish to free yourself from. Your understanding needs to evolve, and for this you need accurate, expert guidance, and sustained practice to apply this guidance. Band aids cannot work, approaches that do not truly give you the understanding of how you are creating this cannot work. You really must sincerely explore how you are creating this and I promise, the resources I sent you contain the answers that can guide you. You can even work personally with the person who has created them, and he can also address your personal questions, but there is already a huge amount of masterfully created material available, reachable through the search box in .
Read this answer carefully, don’t miss any of the instructions, and you will progress. Much Love.